How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so let's talk penis.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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