what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
These tits shall not be calmed
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
