i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
