Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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