i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
