i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
