dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize