Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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