i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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