we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
