yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
