Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
