This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
