He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
