so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My vagina is officially offended.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
