What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
