She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
