Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
