Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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