I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
