am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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