My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
