I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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