I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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