So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
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