come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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