Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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