I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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