remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
