Have you finally orgasmed yet?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
