WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
