Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
