took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
