I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
