After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
