Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
