this boner is exhausting
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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