Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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