i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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