elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Houston, we have a blender
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
