it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I still have a little drunk in my system
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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