I wish you could order shots online.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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