glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
