Sry I called you an 8
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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