the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
