this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
