Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
