She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
