he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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