I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
