My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
